Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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