This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
All the doctor said was why
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
