Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
