Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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