i already hear my dad disowning me
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
