Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
