2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
A bitchslap is in order.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
