I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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