Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
