youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
