can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
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