I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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