I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
