Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just googled if crying burns calories
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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