Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
