shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
