you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Randomize
