you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
