Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
