If i come over, it means nothing
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
