Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
