i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
