I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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