Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Randomize
