why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
