Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
