apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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