girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
