dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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