i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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