im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize