every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
