I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Randomize
