Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
