you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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