So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
