first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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