Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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