i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
