after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
