I think I died a long time ago.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
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