i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
