So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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