Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
