So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
