i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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