my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
