How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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