Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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