we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
