Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
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