At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
