consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
