I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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